Yesterday I had a day of feeling very grateful. Grateful for all that I have in my life, for my new sense of purpose with Happy Magazine and for you, reader.
My life has made some most unexpected changes over the past few years. Needless to say, my cancer diagnosis had not been in ‘the plan’. And neither was creating a cancer support magazine for Ireland. But such is life and here we all are.
Happy Magazine has turned into a brand new full-time ‘job’ for me. I say ‘job’ in inverted commas because it’s really not work at all. It’s my fifteen year career skills, my experience as a cancer patient, my longing for a life on my own terms, my desire to be happy despite cancer, my purpose to help others not to feel the way I felt two years ago when I was first diagnosed and so much more.
I gave up my career as a graphic designer for a well-known corporate in Ireland last year to pursue this dream of creating Happy Magazine. Each day I work on this website, on the next print issue of the magazine, on emails, on advertising, on relationships with so many lovely people I have met on this path and it all feels so right. So very right.
I am right where I am meant to be.
For the first time in my ‘career’ and even, my life, I am exactly where I need to be.
Where I want to be, with every ounce of being. And that feels good.
Some days I get frustrated with the slowness of being a start-up business, the architect of this idea, trying to make something out of nothing. Frustrated with the complexities of the cancer support space in Ireland that I am still learning. Frustrated with thoughts of failing, of missing something, of letting someone down. Of letting a reader down. And of course, I get frustrated with being still just two years post-diagnosis and all that comes with that. I get frustrated with fatigue, with odd aches and pains, with never-ending thoughts of the cancer I had and the journey I’ve had so far (still!).
But then I remember this is all part of the package.
And I breathe.
And I do the things I’ve learned that help me through the day or the night. I talk to my mentors – my husband, my parents, my business advisors, my friends. It helps to talk – it always has.
And I carry on, sometimes blindly, until the path becomes clear again.
I don’t have it all figured out. But it sure is fun following this path. Discovering me, discovering others. Learning about a life of purpose, striving to live a life of purpose. It feels good and it stops me from focusing too much on my own cancer experience. Keeping busy reminds me how lucky I am to be here, to know joy, to be following this path, and for that I am very grateful.
Cathy McCarthy’s post last week talked about happiness and had this quote:
The great essentials of happiness are,
something to do, something to love and something to hope for.
– Allan K. Chalmers
And I couldn’t agree more.
I’d love to know what you think. Do you think it’s good to have purpose in your life? What is your purpose? Is it the same as it has always been or is it different now since your experience with cancer? How do you fuel your passion? I’d love to read your comment below.
By Happy Magazine Editor, Holly Kennedy.